The Internet Mafia is the most powerful mafia EVER and what would a totally awesome mafia be without a bunch of totally awesome guns?? We have at least three of every gun ever made(INCLUDING THE MACHINE GUN THING FROM SCARFACE!!!). We even have guns that aren't even out yet!! We invent our own guns too, my ex-consigliere Juan "Gigante" Torres designed REAL WORKING BFG from Quake 3!!! It shoots napalm!!! Here's a short list of my favorite guns:
9
The 9 is a gun that totally ROCKS. It's really small so you can fit it in your backpack or even your shirt pocket. The reason it's called "9" is because you can usually kill about 9 police or feds before one of them shoots you dead with one of their crappy guns. But I'm so cool that I can kill 18+ without getting wasted!!! Still just to be safe if you're up against 10 or more bad dudes then use something bigger like an AK!!
TEK 9
This is the Tek 9, and it's like a 9 but it shoots much faster!! Actually it shoots 9 bullets every second, so it's much better than the 9, but THERE'S A TRADEOFF: It's bigger!! If you want to walk around with one of these then you need to wear a trenchcoat or some MC Hammer pants or something. But what if it's a hot day and you want to wear shorts?? See, this is why not too many people use this gun, it's only makes sense to use it when it is cold outside. So if you live in Iceland or the north pole then pick one of these up, otherwise FORGET IT. This is a seasonal gun at best!!
AK47
Do you think that you are a badass mofo?? Well YOU ARE WRONG unless you have one of these babies, the AK47 is the BEST GUN EVER. It takes a tank or an airplane to stop someone with an AK, here's a true story: One time my friend ran into 100 police officers on the street!! And he was like "oh shiznit" but then he remembered he was holding an AK so he started shooting and he smoked ALL 100 of those suckas before they even knew what was happening!! I think Tony Soprano has about 248 of these BUT I HAVE 249!! Right now you are probably saying "ok smarty, you said the Tek 9 sucked because it was big but the AK is even bigger!! You are dumb!!". Well you're the dumb one because when you walk down the street holding an AK47 everyone will CRAP THEIR PANTS. This gun is so badass that it can kill someone without any ammo!! THE AWESOMEST GUN EVER!!!
COLT
This gun RULES DUDE, it is SOOOO DEADLY, NO ONE CAN STOP ITS AWESOMENESS ......... NOT!!! Actually this is the WORST GUN EVER MADE EVER, I'd rather have one of those muskets that George Washington used than this TRASH GUN. Yeah it looks pretty cool but the Colt can't aim worth crap!! I once saw a cop with a Colt unload 200 bullets on some dude at point blank AND ALL OF THE SHOTS MISSED!! Then the dude kicked the cop in the nuts!!! I think this gun has actually hit a target maybe three times in the 30 years it has been around. My friend Samuel said that one time someone fired one of these and it missed so bad the bullet came back and hit the shooter in the eye!!! Usually feds and cops like to use these because they are dumb so they like to use dumb guns. Colts are really easy to get because they suck so much, I have about a million of these in my house laying around of the floor, I don't know what to do with them because THEY ARE TOTAL CRAP. I have one in my kitchen that I use to stir my soup and one in the bathroom for when I run out of toilet paper.
BAZOOKA
About 50 years ago bazookas were cool, but then someone invented the 9 and then the AK came along, so now days bazookas are pretty passe. Yeah, they do shoot big rockets that can blow up all your enemies with one shot, but what fun is that?? Actually these guns are mostly for loser noobs who suck at shooting, you don't have to score a direct hit to kill with one of these. I have a few of these but I don't use them that often, just once in a while when I need to take out a truck or a bridge or something. If you bazookas too much then your skills will decline and you'll suck so don't abuse these except for special missions.